“There are times that I find myself wanting to run away from everything but I can’t, wrestling against the intense pressures that pushes through me as if wanting me to obliterate in an instant. The pain is excruciating that I just want to scream but I can’t, or to just burst into tears and have someone to comfort me but there’s no one to understand. I think of others, for their sake what should I do – should I hold on, or should I put an end to everything even if it’s my life or part of it would be at stake. I think and I think, I analyze everything to the best that I can, the nightmare keeps growing every single night that I sleep that at some point I cannot hold on much longer, that there’s no other way but to leave everything at peace.”
The undertakings of 17-year old Shuichi Kushimori (Kazunari Ninomiya 二宮 和也) reflects the struggles I face in life to an extent that I immediately found myself sympathizing to his character in this movie. No one there to understand your thoughts, nor someone who’d at least give you an answer to all your struggles, that for the sake of everything you do the only thing you could do as a last resort. You know at some point or another it will all come to an end, and you just have to face the facts and do the only thing you could find doing to save the ones you love from the consequences of what you did or might do. You stand alone, friends are there but no one could ever understand. Or even if there ever is, it’s already too late.
It’s not about the murder that the story talks about as what other people comments on this story, but rather how one would normally face the intense challenges in real life. You help people for the sake of them not destroying their own lives. You try to understand them and help them lessen their aggravations. You then find yourself suffocating in your own problems, but now there’s is no one to help you cope up with your struggles, and you realize that there’s no way out but to do what you feel you must, even at a cost.
How do we cope up with our own life? We write. We speak to ourselves. We release the tensions within us through blogging, through voice-recorded journals and such, but is that truly enough? When there’s no one to listen, to truly understand you, lend you a shoulder to cry on and give you the best advice one could ever give, would keeping to yourself be enough? We try to understand others and help them to the best that we can, but is there someone who can truly understand us, or at least give it a try before everything’s too late?
Watch this movie and see the reality that we try to hide to ourselves.
Title: The Blue Light Also Known As: 青の炎 / Ao no hono-o Country: Japan Language: Japanese Subtitle: English Year: 2003 Genre: Drama